Newborns are TOUGH

At about six weeks postpartum, I had missed an important deadline for the HWC newsletter. I wrote a short email on my ipad (while breastfeeding) explaining that I had just given birth a few weeks ago and sorry for the delay. The woman responded immediately, saying it wasn't a problem and, "good luck, newborns are tough!"

At the time I was very grateful for her understanding, and that, having three much older children, she remembered just how tough it is/was. Because it is easy to forget how hard those first three months were. Now, at 7 months, Gage is a cheerful, smiley, happy, easy-going bubs, who only whines when he's over-tired, sick, or has a poopy diaper. (Hey, I would whine too.) It's easy to forget that he spent a lot of his first three months of life - when awake and not feeding - crying. Yes, my happy go-lucky baby boy cried a lot. And even if you manage to give birth to an "easy" newborn, the toll of night-wakings, constant feedings, and constant attention do take their toll.

I remember thinking when I was pregnant - "bah, this whole waking every 3 hour thing during the night to feed - I can do this! I'll just sleep during the day when baby is napping!" Well sister, let me tell you, you just do NOT realize how important it is to have more than 3 hours of continuous sleep at night. I don't know rightly how to describe it except that there is no other point in my life where I have been as sleep-deprived. In college, or when working a very demanding job/jobs ( there was a point in my life where I was working 100 hour weeks), I still got to go home and sleep for at least 5 hours, uninterrupted, and then made it through the day with lots of caffeine. With a newborn baby you NEVER get more than 5 hours uninterrupted - in fact it's dangerous if they do go that long because their little tummies (smaller than a walnut at birth) can't take in enough milk to last them that long!) Also, you can't have caffeine when your baby is this young (caffeine in a newborn has a half-life of almost 90 days!!!)

Just to give you an idea of what days (and nights) with a newborn are like, here is a snapshot - taken from my handy breastfeeding app (which I wouldn't have survived without.)



Gage's feeding times on Friday January 20th 2012 (four weeks old):

1:00 am - 1:35 am
4:14 am - 4:20 am
5:12 am - 5:16 am
5:33 am - 6:45 am
7:35 am - 7:45 am
10:07 am - 10:22 am
10:30 am - 11:52 am
12:16 pm - 1:13 pm
2:40 pm - 3:49 pm
4:30 pm - 5:05 pm
8:15 pm - 9:10 pm
9:28 pm - 9:50 pm
(Saturday)
1:17 am - 1:30 am


OMG I feel exhausted just reading the above. In case you fail to recognize the significance of the time table above.... at NO POINT in that 24 hour period did baby Gage go longer than 3 hours without eating, and in fact, he only gave me ONE stretch of 3 hours, and he did several HOUR LONG feedings. Yes, my pregnant, and soon to be maybe one day pregnant friends, please queue up some movies and TV shows on your ipad - you will not be cognizant enough for any serious reading, but you won't be able to sleep with baby on your boob either!

Baby Gage at 4 weeks, screaming his head off after a bath

As time progresses it gets gradually better...

By 8 weeks he was waking up to eat at 1am, 3am, and 5am (going to bed at 9pm and waking up for the day at 7am - not that there is really a huge difference at that age beween night and day! but still he did know that nighttime was for sleeping, not playing, which is more than can be said for some of my unlucky friends' babies!)  This 3x a night waking was totally do-able. I was still walking around like a heavy-lidded zombie most days, but at least I managed to get out of my pjs and make a trip to the grocery store or go to the cafe to meet friends (not both in the same day though!)

And then, at 3 months, he had a major growth spurt and he was waking up EVERY HOUR to eat. So, like any reasonable person who wants to get a maximum of sleep and keep insanity at bay, I just brought him to bed with me. He could eat as much as he wanted all night long, and I could sleep through most of it. Win, win. Except now we're trying to get him out of the bed so.... maybe not. But seriously don't know how I could have done it any other way!

I got kinda sidetracked there on the co-sleeping issue - which I will most definitely have to write more about - but the moral of the story is NEWBORNS ARE SO TOUGH!

Add to the constant eating, the constant poo-ing that goes with it (12 diapers in one day being about the norm - and night-time diaper changes too), oh and the CRYING, oh and then on your end the continuous bleeding, the still-looking-like-you're-7-months-pregnant for the first MONTH or so post-partum, and yah, it all adds up to some FUN. TIMES.

Forgive the sarcasm, but I like to hammer home a point.

And to end this post on a positive note, I'd like to add that, one of the reasons it's so hard caring for a newborn is because you care SO much about this new little being whom you have brought into this world - you would do anything on earth for them - and it is so overwhelming, and wonderful, and beautiful, but, like anything worth doing, it is a challenge.

My sleeping angel 11 days old

Baby Led Weaning - the beginnings

In four weeks of "weaning" (in British English this means the introduction of solid foods - NOT the reduction/elimination of breastmilk/formula), Gage has had (roughly in order of appearance on his tray):

- nectarine*
- mango
- yogurt
- papaya
- reduced-sugar rusks (a wheat/cornmeal dry biscuit thing)
- whole wheat toast
- carrot*
- parsnip*
- broccoli*
- avocado
- banana
- apple
- lamb shank*
- oatmeal
- asparagus*
- beets
- stir-fried beef
- noodles
- salmon*
- cheese
- home-made beef meatballs*
- peppers
- zucchini
- chicken breast
- tomato
- sardines
- apricot*
- pear


Some things he definitely didn't like. Yogurt, pear and oatmeal in particular. Some things - the ones with stars - he LOVES. He is for sure a carnivore.

On Sunday we went out for brunch/lunch. I had zucchini fritters with avocado and Chris had a chicken sandwich (made with freshly cooked, still warm chicken.) Gage had slices of avocado from my salad and a chunk of chicken and a slice of tomato from Chris' sandwich. He loved everything. He did ruin a cute pair of baby blue pants though by dropping huge chunks of avocado on them (avocado is a bit slippery and hard for him to handle) - but it was so fun to watch him. He clearly knows he's participating in the family meal.

It's also fun watching how he progresses. He's kind of figured out how to get at stuff that's in his fists... kinda. This morning he had lemon ricotta pancakes (Dad's birthday is a special day). He liked the apricot better though! And then we know he's done because he takes the food in his fist, holds it over the edge of the highchair... and let's it drop. Bye-bye food. I'm finished with you! And then we give him his cup of water, he takes a few sips, then tries to eat the cup, then spills the water, then tries to suck the water off the highchair tray. Haha. We should really get a video of this!

I am just loving baby-led weaning though. No stupid purees! He wouldn't let me spoon-fed him even if I tried. When I do try to put a spoon of something to his mouth, he purses his lips shut. (If I give him the spoon to feed himself, he will get it in his mouth - usually upside down though.) To watch him progress day by day in his ability to pick up food, get it to his mouth, and figure out how to chew and swallow - well it's just so fun! Like watching him try to figure out how to crawl. Except more enjoyable for everyone.

(Do you want to know how I know he is actually swallowing more and more food every day? Well I think you can figure it out.... hehe. But he is! It's so exciting! Who knew that when you became a mom poop became exciting? Go figure.)

On that note - baby led weaning rocks. That's all there is to it!

bam bam!

Gage at six months, two weeks.....

- can sit up completely unsupported
- has two front bottom teeth!
- has the most infectious smile
- laughs all the time
- protests going to sleep with various vocal acoustics (including a fake cough, and some funny consonant noises)
- will only fall asleep while being rocked in a dark room, walking in the ergo, or nursed in our bed
- has very inconveniently stopped falling asleep in the stroller
- will be woken up by ANY sudden noises (darn you, creaky floorboards!)
- loves nectarines and really devours them
- loves roasted carrot and steamed broccoli
- hates yogurt
- cannot pick up peas (stupid pincher grasp who needs you?)
- is supremely frustrated not to be able to pick up said peas (pincher grasp develop already!)
- is SO SO SO close to being able to crawl!
- by so so so close I mean that when put down on all fours he stays like that for a few seconds
- tries to scoot forward on his tummy but ends up scooting himself backwards
- has ended up in some pretty awkward scenarios because of said (in)ability
- like under the crib, under the coffee table (geez who's watching this baby?)
- loves to chew on EVERYTHING
- tries to eat my face
- tries to eat cords (baby proofing anyone?)
- thinks mommy's blackberry is the coolest thing around
- has almost developed a predictable nap schedule (almost, almost)
- loves when mommy blows raspberries on his tummy
- is totally over his old-hat (aka one-month old) trick of blowing raspberries himself (unless he's tired, or frustrated, or both)
- is the cutest baby on planet earth
- has developed a fun habit of banging his toys against the ground, and his fists on the highchair when he's done with food
- is our little Bam Bam now - bam bam! bam bam!
- is showing his mom and dad just how much of a handful he will be in a few months/years time
- is the best, most precious, loveable handful his mom and dad could ever ask for

Baby essentials, first three months, Part 1

This is only Part 1 folks.... the main attractions, the ones that stand out most in my mind.



The Happiest Baby on the Block 

Buy this. Read this. BEFORE you go into labor! Even if you end up not using all his techniques it is very helpful to know his theory about the first three months of a baby's life being the "fourth trimester" because God help us all it is SO true. After three months it's like a light switch and these incomprehensible beings become human babies. 

Moby wrap

This baby carrier looks very complicated to put on... and the first few times you do it, it is. (DO practice and familiarize yourself with it when you're pregnant.) But after you get the hang of it, it is super easy and the best way on earth to calm a screaming newborn.  And then, once you've walked around with him in it and put him to sleep you can do some catching up on your email, or do an errand, or take him gently out, place him into a crib and you can get some sleep too!

For the first 3 months of Gage's life he always had an upset tummy so he spent an inordinate amount of his wakeful time screaming his head off. So I would head out with him in the stroller, he would fall asleep in the stroller, but the second he woke up he would start with the hysterical crying. I would put on the Moby, put him in it, and resume walking (with my diaper bag now in the stroller), and he would shut up! Needless to say, I never ever left the house without the Moby in those early months.



Baby Bjorn Babysitter Bouncer

This is probably the hands down best baby product ever invented. (Not that I'm prone to hyperbole or anything.) But seriously it's amazing. Of course it's got the price tag to match, but don't let that deter you... it is worth its weight in gold! Not that it weighs very much of course... it is super lightweight, and can even be easily moved and adjusted with one hand while holding a sleeping baby in the other. (Not that this is something I recommend doing. Have your man servant, er I mean husband, do it for you.)

Why is this product so great? First of all, it bounces when baby moves. So when you place sleeping baby in it when it is in the "sleep" position he stays asleep. (There are three tilt levels, sleep, rest and play - the latter being the most upright of course) Why does he stay asleep? Because any movements he makes merely make the seat bounce so his own movements rock him right back to sleep - brilliant! I don't know how I would have survived the first few months without this. Our routine was, breastfed him to sleep on the couch and then gently transfer him into the bouncer so mommy could actually get something done. (If placed in a cot he would immediately wake up. Like he had cot-dar or something - waaaaaaahhhh! I want a warm body next to mine! Pick me up! This cot does not remind me at all of being in the warm womb!) In fact, we were so dependent on this thing STILL at four months that we brought it back to the states with us. It folds up completely flat and fit perfectly in the bottom of our large duffel bag.

 Gage at five days old napping through the unwrapping of his presents from Santa on Christmas day.

Now that Gage has outgrown napping in this thing, I still use it almost every day. (Side note, he physically outgrew the weight limit for the sleep and rest settings very early - I still wish he would nap in it! Right now he is napping on my chest in the Ergo - another baby product must-have which will be in another posting.) But I still use the bouncer every day - he enjoys batting at the toy bar we now have on it, and I bring him into the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner and he will amuse himself in it for 20 minutes or so if I occasionally talk to him while I'm cooking. He'd much prefer to be sitting on the ground, but unfortunately, he can't quite keep himself up a reliable portion of the time - no precious noggins falling smack on the floor please!

My Brest Friend Breastfeeding Support Pillow

Gage always fell asleep after feeding for the first two months.

 

Quite simply, invaluable for the early weeks of breastfeeding. You won't need it once they have good head control and can hold themselves up better, but seriously for the first two months when they spend the majority of their waking hours on your boob, you will be very thankful for this supportive, comfortable pillow. And also for your ipad, TV and/or a good book. 

Prince Lionheart Baby Bath Bucket

This is a fancy, expensive bucket. But it makes bathing a floppy-headed newborn 1,000x easier! They literally can't topple over - and they also apparently like it because it reminds them of being in the womb.Gage's first few baths were miserable for everyone involved until we figured out that we were making the water too hot! He likes it at 95 degrees (the "recommended" temperature we were using was 100.) Five degrees of wonderful difference - now Gage loves bath time.

Aden + Anais swaddling blankets

I can't underscore enough how important swaddling is in those first few weeks. A properly done swaddle will calm almost any baby, and a tightly swaddled baby stays asleep longer. Newborns have a primitive reflex called the Moro reflex. It's a relic of our tree-swinging ancestors. Basically, if a newborn feels like she is falling (which happens when they are on their backs - which is the only way you should put a baby to sleep - NOT on their tummies or on their side) then she will fail out her arms.... all the better to catch passing branches with! It's kind of cute the first few times they wake themselves up this manner. And then its cuteness declines in rapid reverse proportion to how annoying it actually is. (There are no branches kid! We don't live in trees - go back to sleep!) So swaddling is a must, for that reason, and also because it reminds them of being tightly packed in the womb. Dr. Karp writes extensively on the wonders of the swaddle in The Happiest Baby and it is really worth reading it all. You should also master swaddling a teddy bear before you give birth. And make it really tight! A loose swaddle is a suffocation hazard. (Although the reason these blankets are amazing is that they are so light so if the swaddle were to come undone and the blanket to cover baby's nose, it probably would still be okay? STILL learn to swaddle RIGHT TIGHT!) 

These blankets are so useful in a myriad other ways. As stroller sun-shade, picnic blanket, floor blanket, stroller blanket, regular blanket (although never put loose blankets in a crib with an infant - more on that later), burp cloth, and nursing cover! I always have one of these in my diaper bag.

And in the department of baby-soothing... you should also keep a hairdryer handy... it makes the screaming stop immediately....

a quiet baby and the hairdryer magic wand

And six months later.... we're back! Happy Half Birthday to my sweet baby boy

The last post on this blog was the day before I gave birth!

Exactly six months ago, on December 20th early, early in the morning I had my first contractions. By 10:11pm that evening Gage Henry Stevens made a hurried entrance into this world.

I still can't quite believe that he's real... he is the joy and light of my life - so smiley, happy, loveable - so perfect in every way that sometimes it feels like the past 6 months have been a wonderful dream! I am undoubtedly the most lucky woman on earth (nothing like being objective about these things) and not a day goes by that I do not kiss his little checks and say "mommy loves you so so so SO much!" Because I do. Much, much more than I can adequately express in words.

But the point of this blog is not to be a love-fest about my precious boy. Rather it is to keep a record for myself and others of how to parent a newborn, an infant, a baby, and eventually, a toddler. (With a few cute photos along the way.) For the past 6 months I've had the benefit of no job or other children so that I had/have time to research everything baby related - and I also now have more than a dozen friends with babies of similar ages so I have lots of moms to compare notes with.

Things from the past six months that I must cover:

1. Breastfeeding! - ahh breastfeeding. Seems so simple, no? No! It's not. At least not in the beginning. But it is so wonderful and easy once you've got it down.... I have SO much to say on this topic.

2. Baby products, by age group

3. Developmental milestones

4. Weaning (aka the introduction of solid food)

5. Infant sleep (ahhh pregnant people out there... enjoy those uninterrupted nights you lucky, lucky thing you, you don't know how lucky you are...)

6. Birth

There's so much I've learned - and so much that I've already forgotten! (Think pregnancy brain is bad... wait for baby brain - it's worse because you don't have crazy hormones to blame for your seeming absent-mindedness. Your partner will swear you are actually blonde.)

And since my good friend from childhood just broke the news to me that she is pregnant and due in October (yaaayy!! 'cuse me while I do a happy jig around the living room)... I want to start off with the fun stuff, which is of course, buying baby stuff!! This will require some thought however, so I will end it here for tonight and leave you with a very happy half birthday photo of my bugaboo, my bubba, my chunky monkey, my sweet baby Gage.